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From the mouth of Bob |
On the value of education:
Harry: I dropped out of High School, remember?
Bob: And you wonder why your life is an unending series of insurmountable intellectual, financial, and emotional hurdles.
On Children:
Where there are children, there is snot.
Bob actually cares. Really. Seriously. Bob does care.
Harry: I won't take money off a kid.
Bob: I know, I know. I also know that if there is any truth to his claim, and he were to be harmed you would never forgive yourself.
And I'd have to endure months of self-flagellation, so don't take his money, but do take him at his word.
Bob's view on cooking:
Harry ~ Can you check the garlic bread?
Bob: Why? I'm not eating.
Bob's view on cooking: Part II
Bob: Life is pain. So's dinner. You've burnt your garlic bread.
Bob on girls:
Bob: (After Harry explains that he got beaten up by a ghost). Maybe she wanted company. You know, I'm not doing anything. Maybe I could find her frequency. Chat her up.
Harry: Her father would love that.
Bob: It could be our secret.
More Bob on girls:
Bob: Was she built?
Harry: Will you stop!
Bob: It's just a simple question. (beat) Oh, just to able to touch a woman again.
Harry: Like you had a chance?
Bob: And you do? Have you taken a look at yourself lately?
Not exactly the picture of elegance.
Bob on love:
It's a fallacy. There's no such thing as love. It's just a biochemical reaction that ends with hiring a detective to settle scores. Come on, Harry, you know there's no such thing as love.
Bob on Harry's crusades for justice:
Bob:(Sighing) I detect another looming quixotic campaign on the horizon.
Bob: That Egyptian mumbo jumbo is not my forte.
Bob's not afraid to tell Harry exactly how he feels.
Harry: How do you know what I'm thinking? Are you inside my head?
Bob: I would take a peek except for that fact that it's pretty clear that narcissism and bad judgment are blocking the door...
Or that Harry doesn't appreciate him.
Harry: You love this, aren't you?
Bob: What?
Harry: Me saying you were right.
Bob: Oooooh very much, and one can never hear it enough.
Harry: I'm such an idiot.
Bob: No argument here.
Harry: She used me!
Bob: That Bitch!
Bob also doesn't hold back any punches when he tells Harry that he's not being very considerate of Bob's needs. (Yes, a ghost in a skull has needs.)
Bob: (of sheltering Bianca) Have you even considered the consequences here?
Harry: Uh, haven't got around to that yet.
Bob: Well let me enlighten you: If they catch you with her, she's dead, you're dead, and I'm... homeless.
Bianca: How do you live with him?
Harry: Sometimes I wonder.
Bob: Oh, it's no walk in the park for me either, darling... Ever! Most days, I just walk from here to there and back again.
Harry: Bob! Please!
Bob: God, I am doomed.
Harry: Yeah you're doomed! You live in a skull. Now shut up and get in it!
Bob: All right. (whispers) But at least take some precaution. You can't trust her.
Bianca: Bob? I can hear you.
Harry: Oh, I want you to hear me. I'll be in the lab if you need me.