George Hammond ~ Reviews

I was busy making Tok'Ra Treats for my Jacob when the Grand Council decided to have a meeting. Jake and I were still on our honeymoon stage of our relationship so I was trying to prove to him what a great, warm and fuzzy, cute and cuddly...

And modest! ~ Jake

Pfffttt... Jake, symbiote I was, so I figured that I'd make him a few batches of Tok'Ra Treats. We meandered off to our meeting where I promptly dozed off. You've been to one Tok'Ra meeting, you've been to them all. The names stay the same, only the faces change. His mind was wandering, and in fact, he was in the midst of reminiscing about how much he missed that strange drink, coffee, because he always had a cup or four at the boring meetings in the Pentagon when Garshaw made a comment that grabbed my attention.

"The Tau'Ri are looking for help with dealing with some invisible creatures, who wants to volunteer?"

"Me!Me!ME!ME!ME!ME!!!" I almost waved Jake's hand in excitement, but knew that wouldn't make Garshaw very happy with me. He's so darn regal and opinionated that I felt really bad for poor Yosef when she was picked to be Garshaw's host. The poor girl hasn't spoken since!

"It will do the Tau'Ri well to see that Jacob is adjusting to our ways," I suggested.

That I'm still alive, you mean, Jake mentally inserted.

We can do all sorts of exciting things, Jake! We can go to Disney! We can go to bar hopping, and we can go see a movie! This is gonna be great, Jake! No adult supervision, just the two of us and the open road! Just like Thelma & Louise!

SELMAK! They ended up dead!

Ok - maybe that wasn't a good analogy.

"Very well, you can go, but you'll have to take a guard with you," Garshaw declared.

"I don't need a babysitter," I protested. "I'm the oldest and wisest Tok'Ra symbiote that's still kicking. I symbiote-sat your litter, Garshaw. Do not speak to me of babysitters!"

Naturally, that's when the Council decided that I needed a guard. Then the day got even worse! When I went back to our cubicle so I could wrap up my Tok'Ra Treats so I could bring them to our meeting with George, someone had eaten them all! And I knew who had done it.

LANTESH! You're gonna get SQUASHED!

Naturally when I confronted him, he got all sniffly, "Jolinar used to make them for me."

Jacob had no patience with me and told me to hurry up and get through the gate, as he wanted COFFEE. Everyone in the SGC is so thrilled to see me that they ignored Jake. George was especially happy to see me. Naturally, Jake got miffed.

Jacob: Selmak, Selmak, Selmak. I thought maybe you wanted to see your old man.

Sam: I do, Dad.

Hammond: But this time we do need your symbiote, Jacob.

Jacob: Nice to see you too, George.

So, my evil host was so annoyed that he was playing second fiddle, that he had a Big, Black cup of Java!

It made me feel very weird. I felt like I was doing the cha-cha-cha inside Pookie's brain. All I needed was a few castanets and a guitar and I would be singing like Charo. Then the drug induced euphoria left as quickly as it came, and I collapsed.

You're so mean to me. That wasn't nice. You tricked me, I wailed. You said it was a nice drink. You said I'd like it.... I don't... it's an evil drink!

Sel. Pull yourself together, old girl.

You don't like me as I'm... o..o...o...ooooold...

George needs our help! Pull it together, Selmak!

George? George is nice to me, he wouldn't drink coffee... Sniff... so I'll help him. We better get a TER, a Transpose Eradication Rod or two, so we can see these invisible bugs.

Jake and I run around for a bit, trying to TER us a Reeto but the little buggers are hard to catch as well, they're invisible. Before long, my babysitter and his host is dead, and I'm rather sad as Garshaw will never let us outta the tunnels now!

I'm sure that it comes as no surprise to anyone that Jake gets hurt. Fortunately, George doesn't get hurt, so I can flirt with him over Jake's gasps of pain. What can I say, George is just so much more... spryer than my Jacob.


Oh, get over it, Jake. You're gonna have to accept the fact that I'm an opinionated female and that I can't help but think how much Saroosh would have loved George, especially when she was younger.

Coochie! Coochie! Coo!

George and I...

Ahem? Are we forgetting someone important... LIKE YOUR HOST?!??! ~ Jake

And Jacob managed to defeat the invisible bugs thanks to some help from Samantha. Earth is saved, and I'm really excited because George and I are going to go clubbing after this, when Jake pulls a fast one.

We need to bring the little boy Charlie to the Tok'Ra so he can get adopted by a cute and cuddly, warm and fuzzy symbiote. It's the right thing to do, but I can't help but think that Jacob somehow arranged Charlie's situation on purpose so I couldn't go clubbing with George.


Season 2 ~ Show & Tell

Evil Jacob convinced me to try a cup of coffee.

We can't leave yet, Jake, you promised that George and I could go clubbing!

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