George Hammond ~ Reviews

This is a very special episode, do you know why? It's because they got George outta the Dress Blues and into his fatigues. He looks so handsome when he wears his fatigues. (Pardon me while I fan myself with my flippers.)

Groan. I wish you wouldn't do that as it makes me feel nauseous when you wiggle around like that. ~ Jake

It's also the very first time that George has gone through the Stargate.

It's a real shame that I hadn't adopted Pookie as my new host yet, as I would have been more than willing to show George around the universe. I could have taken him to all the really cool planets and pointed out where he shouldn't go unless he has Teal'c along. You know, George, it really isn't too late. I could show you around the universe if you want? Let me know, my datebook is wide open!

Selmak, get on with the review, ok?

Oh. You're no fun - would you remind me why I agreed to be your new best friend again?

We were both dying. We really didn't have much of a choice.

Oh yeah. Anyway, O'Neill and the gang show up on a planet, and amazingly enough, O'Neill's big mouth gets them sentenced to life imprisonment within five minutes of arriving there. That must be a new record for Jack, right Pook?

George then has to go through the Gate (for the very first time!) while loudly hoping that his crack team of engineers was sending him to the right planet (as Mssgt. Walter-Norman Fabio Davis-Harriman apparently had the day off and had been replaced by a brand spanking new tech that had already lost several SGC teams accidentally. Well you can't blame her! It's a big universe, and there are over a billion combinations!) George hopes to smooth everything over with the Taldor. He's put under a big white spotlight, and he argues in vain for the team to be released, as apparently O'Neill really irked the Taldor (Yes, I'll pause so all my readers can gasp dramatically. Isn't it so hard to believe that Jack would annoy anybody?). My George even offers to take their place on the prison world.

Isn't George just so noble? Sigh. I think he's giving Bra'tac a run for the position of being the most noble of Sel's Boys.

Rolling of Eyes.

Don't get me wrong, Pook, you're noble, too, in your own little special Pookie way.

Thanks. I think.

You're welcome.

The Taldor won't release them as apparently there isn't any escape from Planet Alcatraz. George tells the Taldor that they've just really pissed him off and that he's leaving as he doesn't want to play with them anymore. George returns to the SGC, convinced that he's going to have to recruit a new team for the position of SG-1. Secretly, I'm sure George had a list of qualifications for the new team, including a NO sarcasm allowed to your CO rule. But like we all were expecting, SG-1 manages to escape and they return back to the SGC with their new friend Linnea.

It turns out Linnea is also known as the Destroyer of Worlds as she created a plague that nearly wiped out all the island states of Taldor. Linnea, in spite of the fact that she's never seen a computer before is a very quick study as she proceeds to knock out Sam and the Doctor so she can play on the 'net. Apparently, Linnea also graduated from a Speed Reading course as she zipped through all the archive on the Stargate and then over-rode the system. Soon, she's skipping through the Stargate, singing 'Tra la la la...' even while the base is set to self destruct. George, being a two finger typist (much like Jake) can't override the self destruct, and everyone's making their final prayers when they realize that Linnea tricked them! They aren't going to blow up!

But they aren't going anywhere either, as Linnea pulled the extension cord outta the wall when she left the Gateroom, so everything shuts down.

George's final words are, "Does anyone know what happened to the #$%! Emergency Lights?"


Season 2 ~ Prisoners

Debates about rescuing SG1 as it would be quieter without O'Neill around.

Real thrilled about the spotlight.

Fine! You can Keep O'Neill! I just want the rest of the team back!

Back to George's Reviews