|Sel Reviews Master Bra'tac|
Let us free our Jaffa brethern.
I fear Selmak must be ill, as she's not as snarcastic as she normally is.
You know, maybe if you hadn't stopped for that Cape Flourish,
Ba'al wouldn't have escaped ~ Snarky Sel.
|Season 8 ~ Reckonings Part I & Part II|
Jake's going to do the review today, as I'm feeling a little icky - Sel.
Now, Pookie, when you do the review, you have to make sure you add comments about how dashing Bra'tac is, and how he flips his cape around. All the girls love that stuff.
There will be no dashing and no flipping of capes in this review, Selmak.
OK? OK? No pleading? No whining, no whimpering? Just OK?
OK Jake, it's your review. Do what you want.
Sel? Are you ok?
Tired. Too much dancing last night. That George really knows how to cut a rug.
I know everyone's going to be really disapointed, but I won't mention anything about Bra'tac's dashing about or flipping of capes.
You could throw the girls a bone and mention his new head piece? He looks like he went shopping as he's got a new cape and a new head thingie - Sel
No, I won't.
Anyway, the team is out on a trip with Bra'tac when Danny is beamed away while they're being attacked by replicarters. Bra'tac admits that this new enemy has gotten him worried as most of the Jaffa are returning to their masters, hoping for safety from the Replicarters.
He then decides that the only way to give heart to the Jaffa Rebellion is by capturing a specific, highly symbolicTemple in the heart of Ba'al's terrority. He and Teal'c capture it easily, and then they realize that the fight is just beginning as they have to hold the temple now.
And on their way to that very same temple is Ba'al's Army PLUS the Replicarter! Tune in next week to see what happens!
Reckonings Part II
Sel? Aren’t you going to do the Bra’tac Review for Reckoning II?
Cough, cough. Could you do it for me? I'm still not feeling that well … but make sure you throw in a cape flourish or something. That’s what the Bra’tac fans like, you know, Bra’tac, looking heroic, flourishing his cape, speaking dramatically, ok? According to the marketing reports, Bra'tac fans want that, George fans just want him to show up in an episode and well, your fans wish you wouldn't get hurt so much!
Jacob exhales a long suffering sigh.
Thanks, Pook. You're the bestest host a girl symbiote could ever want.
When we join our Rebel Jaffa, Bra’tac has to stop a near fist fight between Aron and Tolok as nerves are getting strained with Ba’al’s armada on its way to Dakara. Teal’c and Bra’tac decide to divide their forces into two separate divisions before Ba’al arrives. As you might remember, Ba’al is trying to stall for time in order to for the good guys (That being us) to destroy the top secret Ancient weapon that Anubis wants to get his hands on. The two forces engage in a fire fight while back on Dakara, Samantha, Selmak and I are all trying to figure out the weapon.
Then we tell Bra’tac and Teal’c that they have to talk to Ba’al as we (big sigh ~ I can’t believe that we’re admitting to this) need his help to activate the weapon in such a way as to send it through the Stargate all at the same time. Meanwhile the Replicators are landing on Dakara.
We get the weapon working, activate it and then all the Replicators are destroyed!
Meanwhile on Ba’al’s mothership, Ba’al thinks he’s won the war.
BA'AL: Prepare enough squads to board them [The formerly Replicator Controlled Ships] and reclaim them in the name of their god.
TEAL'C: Not so fast, Ba’ally boy! Surrender now, and you will be granted mercy.
BA'AL: You are hardly in any position to be making such ridiculous demands. You are surrounded. I’ve got you and your little dog too! Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
TEAL'C: You are incorrect. It is, in fact, *you* that is surrounded by free Jaffa.
BA’AL : WHAT THE HELL? This is the very last time I’m hiring Jaffa from Jaffa Temps R’ Us! CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!
(From the side of the pel'tak, a Telchak enhanced beam takes down one of the super-soldiers flanking Ba'al. As the other super-soldier turns towards the source, a second beam takes it down as well. Bra'tac runs onto the pel'tak, his cape fluttering behind him [that comment was for Selmak] carrying a Telchak-enhanced rifle in his hands. He is followed by other Jaffa who quickly disarm Ba'al's crew.)
Bra’tac pauses dramatically for a moment, gives a flourish of his cape, raises his rifle and then announces, “Behold - your false god!”
Ba'al looks at Bra'tac. He grins, then Ba’al starts to laugh. He reaches for the device on his wrist and is beamed away while Bra'tac and the free Jaffa open fire!
How was that review, Sel? Did I do ok? Enough cape flourishes for you, Sel? Sel? Ah, she's sleeping. Poor little symbiote is exhausted from saving the universe once again. It's exhausting, isn't it?