Dear Sel,

February 23, 2006

Hi Sel,

My name is Makui. I’m a little furry four legged animal. Mom doesn’t know I’m typing on her computer so don’t tell her…pretty please! I just wanted you to know that I have become an avid fan. I just learned to read and was reading some excerpts that Mom printed for me. Only when I asked what @(@#$@@@ meant she washed my mouth out with liquid dish soap! I couldn’t taste my special treats right for a week! So, can you tell me what it means?

Just in case you don’t believe a furry animal can read, I sent you a photograph showing the proof. Mom’s obsessed with taking my picture and has a couple hundred of them. She emails them on a daily basis to my surrogate mommies, Helena and Janet, who live in some far away land called the East Coast. Both which only encourage her to do it because they find me so adorable and cute!

Oh…crap! Mom’s coming! Gotta go!

Love,

Makui

JACCCCCOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB.....

Isn't he so CUTE?!?!? CAN I HAVE A CUTE AND CUDDLY, WARM AND FUZZY LITTLE PET?!?!? PLEEEEEEASSSSEEEEEEEEE.

Sel

PS @(@#$@@@ is a special term of endearment that you're too young to use. You have to be 2,000 years old to use it!


February 10, 2006

Dear Sel,

You're invited to come on my spring business travels as my crocheting companion. Don't know yet if we'll hit any cons, as the assignments are handed out a week or two in advance. But, if you join me in Maryland next week, I can arrange a visit to the AG Moore craft store near the hotel (yummy yarns!) and perhaps a SciFi Friday party with some of our DC-area con buddies.

I'll even teach you to make a Tok'ra toque* for Jake...I hear it's cold up there in Ascendedville.

*small, brimless, close-fitting hat

Gilder Anne McCarroll, the SG Con Crochet Queen

Dear Gilder,

I would love to take up crocheting as Jake has often suggested, "SEL, you need to get a hobby!" He also often suggests that I need to get a life, but I just chalk that up to the fact that he's jealous that he doesn't have my undivided attention. Actually, Jake's being really MEAN as since I've ASCENDED I can't GET a life BECAUSE WE WERE KILLED OFF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO PROMOTE JACK/SAM SHIP.

Oh Good god, who started Selmak off again on the Deluise Conspiracy? I swear if she starts commenting how George would be good for Sam one more time, I'm gonna scream ~ Long Suffering Jake.

He would be, as he's an adult and he's housebroken. But let's get back to me, shall we, Gilder? While I would love to learn how to crochet, sadly, it's pretty darn difficult as I don't have OPPOSABLE THUMBS. But crocheting would give me something to do while I sit besides Jacob's hospital bed, wishing that I had gotten the extended warranty on Pookie. One would think that after we ascended, someone would STOP GETTING HURT SO MUCH..

Love,

Sel

PS ~ no cons? NO CONS?!?!?


February 10, 2006

Dear Sel,

I really want Don to attend the Joisey Creation Con. It just won't be the same without him as he's been the highlight of the con for the last two years. Sel, please help!

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Dear Dorabelle, Tricia, Mish & several other women.

Maybe if some fan group hadn't offer one of the guests a BIRTHDAY LEI, somebody's wife would let him return to Joisey.

Love,

Sel

Dear Sel ~ The Archives,

May 2006 ~ Current

February 2006 ~ May 2006

October 2005 ~ February 2006

March 2005 ~ September 2005

August 2004 ~ March 2005

January 2004 ~ July 2004

November 2003 ~ December 2003

To email Sel and ask for her advice, please click here.

After receiving her answer, feel free to drop Jake a note and ask for a translation.