Dear Sel,

September 26, 2005

Sel,

I just found your pics of Don's nude (leg) scene - and nearly fell off my exercise bike laughing!

Love your continuing great efforts on the web page for the guys.

Bests,

Julie in Oz

Dear Julie;

It was so nice to hear from someone regarding those pics. I have to tell you that I have been informed that per Don Davis, those are NOT his legs in the pics. Note - I'm not in contact with any of my Boys, but someone ratted me out. After they revived Don, he disavowed all knowledge of those pics.

Alas, I have not been able to get my hands on Mystique ~ the film where Carmen displays another side of himself. I had found someone with copies, but while he says he's been sending them, I believe that the Goa'ulds are preventing them from arriving here. Or else the Land of Ascension post office has a strict moral code and they're intercepting the mail.

What can I say, sometimes being Ascended is soooo boring.

I'm also very impressed that you can use your exercise bike and read my site at the same time!

See Jake, I have very talented fans.

Love and Symbiote Kisses;

Sel

Update: WE GOT MYSTIQUE!


September 24, 2005

Hey Sel

Just wanted to send you a note to try to cheer you up. I heard you were under the weather and was saddened by it. I hope you are feeling better soon. You have always been my favorite symbiote and will continue to be. Sorry I haven't been keeping in contact, but life has a way of getting in the way of things.

I was glad to hear you went to Dragon Con and had fun. I expect to see the pics soon.

Take Care, Love

Linda

Dear Linda;

Thanks for writing. Sel has to admit that she's rather down and out which is why I'm answering her mail (plus she's busy translating her French question that follows yours). Stargate just ain't doing anything for her lately. Even the last episode of Stargate with both George and Bra'tac didn't perk her up - though she did yell at "Lt. Plague" for getting too close to George.

While it's nice not to have Sel drooling over George and Bra'tac, I am worried about her. Hopefully when she can finally get around to posting her Dragon Con photos, she'll cheer up then as she can relive her experiences there.

All my best,

Jake


 

A French Speaking site visitor dropped Sel a note. Since Sel was too busy beating up Goa'ulds during her high school years, she neglected her French studies, and she asked another French Speaking Tok'Ra to translate.

September 24, 2005

Sel

Don s Davis a t-il exposé des peintures si oui pourrais-je avoir l'adresse? Merci beaucoup gros bisous a tous. Stargate est ma seérir préférée.

Bye bye.

À bientôt,

À mon nouvel ami:

Merci de m'avoir contacté.

J'ai demandé à une Tok'Ra francophone de traduire ma réponse parce que, même si tu dis que ton anglais n'est pas très bon, le français de Sel est bien pire encore.

D'après les renseignements obtenus par des sources Tok'Ra top secrètes, Don n'a pas d'expositions en ce moment. Il devait exposer dans une gallerie en France en 2005, mais cette exposition a dû être remise ou cancellée parce que Don a été trop occupé comme acteur pour préparer ses oeuvres pour une exposition.

Aussitôt que je recevrai des nouvelles au sujet d'une exposition, je l'indiquerai sur mon site.

J'embrasserai Jake bien fort pour toi mais je ne pourrai pas le faire pour George ou Bra'tac puisque Jake devient un peu jaloux quand j'embrasse un autre homme. Il refuse de l'admettre mais je le connais bien.

À bientôt,

Sel

Translation:

Hi Selmak,

Has Don S. Davis had a showing of his paintings at any gallery and, if so, can I have the address.

Thank you very much and a big kiss to everyone. Stargate is my favourite series.

Bye-bye. Talk to you soon.

Sel's Response:

To my new friend;

Thank you for writing.

I asked a French-speaking Tok'Ra to translate my answer back into French, as while you say your English is poor, Sel's French is much, much worse.

Per my Top Secret Tok'Ra Sources, Don currently doesn't have any art shows running. He was to have a gallery show of his artwork in France in 2005, but the show has been either postponed or cancelled as he's been too busy working as an actor to prepare for the show.

If I hear that Don has an art show, I will post the information.

I will give big kisses to Jake, but I can not give Big kisses to George or Bra'tac, as Jake gets a wee bit jealous when I kiss other men. He denies it, but I know him all too well.

All the Best,
Sel


July 7, 2005

Dear Sel,

I have overheard several Tau'ri saying that they did not believe that it really was you who was creating this site. As such I took the time to snap this picture to prove to those doubters that it really is you.

Regards, an operative.

Dear Secret Ops;

Thanks for proving all those doubting Thomases wrong!

Glowily yours;

Selmak the Ascendant.


June 21, 2005

dear sel

you still have the greatest website. Can't you convince pookie to "descend" into a west coast conventions so we can see him....????? met carmen twice and he's just a neat guy. Please see if you can convince him and give this ole gals heart a thrill.

Love ya sel

Sue

dear Sue;

The best way of getting Carmen to appear at a con near you is to kindly contact the con promoters and inform them of the error in their ways for not inviting Carmen to the con...err... ask them nicely to see if Carmen might do the con. Sel has no influence on Carmen as we're completely 197% unofficial tho' rumors have it that we've had a few of Sel's Boy Toys view the site, shake their heads in sad confusion, mumble worriedly their weird fans and then go for counseling.

Love;

Sel

PS ~ Maybe we could do a swap of some sort - you know one Carmen appearance in the West for Dan Shea showing up at a con on the Eastern Coast, because Sel just adores Siler.

PPS ~ Thank you for the kind words about my website.


June 21, 2005

Dear Sel,

Wow! Aren't your flippers tired from all the screen capping? Your website has been overloaded with Carmen screen caps! Not that I'm complaining about that!! It seems that you're doing more now that you and Jake have ascended! Note that I said that YOU are doing more! Haven't heard much from Jake lately. I still think you and Jake should have gone out with a bigger bang! And Sam...she was barely crying!! And you two didn't even get a funeral!!! What's up with that? Sorry...had to rant there for a moment.

Anyway, I was clicking around your website when I noticed the Con Air caps for Don. Normally, I stick to just Carmen's caps but I had seen Con Air quite a few times and couldn't remember what scene Don was in. But I do remember that scene now! I laughed so hard, I thought it was funny. There is just one little detail...I'm not being picky and I know your flippers were probably over worked (you know fanning yourself to keep from getting too HOT while googling over Don's pictures) when you did the capping but the guy falling was actually a prisoner dressed as a guard. Like I said, I'm not being picky but I just thought I'd point it out. :P

One last thing...always buckle up for safety! I know you're the oldest and wisest but that seatbelt will save your life. If that little gekko from the auto insurance commercials can buckle up, seeing how he's so small, so can you. Didn't you learn anything from Jake's driving lessons?

Your friend,
Marya

Dear Marya;

Thank you for your concerns about my flipper tendontitis and trigger flipper. They are acting up lately (tho' you'd think that since I'm ascended, I shouldn't have to worry about crap like that) so I've had to cut down on my screen capping.

Jake's still a little miffed about ascending, but I signed him up for Celestial Croquet & Stellar Shuffleboard so he's been busy with that.

She signed me up six times a week for two hours a piece! For both of them! - Jake.

But you were just moping around, so I wanted you to have some fun!

As for Don in Con Air, thank you for clearing up exactly who was thrown out of the airplane. I have to admit that my screen capping machine ain't Ascension DVD compatiable so I don't always get sound when I watch the boys, so I make up my own story. Trust me if you ever watched some of the videos that I've capped, you'd want to make up your own stories especially the one where [NAME WITHHELD FOR FEAR OF SEL GETTING HER TAIL SUED OFF AND HER SITE SHUT DOWN BY ONE OF THE BOYS] was wearing nothing but whitie-tighties and white tube socks that went up to knees.

As for comparing me with Mr. Gekko, in case you haven't noticed, Mr. Gekko has opposable thumbs while I only have flippers, so when I get into a car I have to rely on the kindness of strangers to buckle me up. I won't mention any names, but the Big Guy driving the car wouldn't buckle me into my seatbelt as supposedly it's legal in California for symbiotes not to wear seatbelts.

I think he just wanted to slam on his brakes HARD and watch me go Airborne in retaliation for my less than flattering screen caps of him skipping on top of that roof. Fortunately, I was able to use one of My Top Secret Tok'Ra moves™ and wrap my tail around his neck so I didn't go SPLAT on the rear window.

Thanks for writing!

Love;

Sel

PS ~ While I know you are partial to Jake, you really should look at the screen caps for the other boys.

PPS ~ As for Sam not caring that we kicked, well, it's like Mom always said, when you're dead, you know who your friends were and who owed you money.

BTW O'Neill, thanks for the lovely funeral spray that Skippy and you DIDN'T send. Nice to know that I saved your six repeatedly and you couldn't put a little something on your gold card.

                

Note: Mr. Gecco (l) has opposable thumbs allowing him to buckle in for safety while Selmak (r)has flippers AND NO THUMBS - meaning she has to rely on the kindness of strangers.


June 18, 2005

Dear Sel,

What did you think of Ba'al making horny eyes at Sammy (your host's only daughter) while you (symbiote to her only father) were saving the world? I would find it distracting to listen to Jacob ranting while I was trying to save the world. How did you keep Jakey from killing him? You must be the oldest and wisest for a reason!

Victoria

Dear Victoria.

Thank you for your concern, but actually Sam was being used as Ba'al Bait. The three of us know Ba'al pretty well, so we figured that if Sam channeled Anise's personality for a bit (as we couldn't find any of Anise's structural steel enhanced Wonder Bras ~ I believe they are currently supporting Tunnels 1 & 4 at the new Top Secret Tok'Ra base.) Ba'al would be determined to charm her into Kreeing to his advances.

So we figured that he'd flirt with her, insult Jake and me, and Sam would just ignore his alleged good looks, so Ba'al (that little worm)would try to impress her with how Super Smart he is.

Love;

Sel

I have to go harass Ba'al some more! I love being Ascended as I can taunt him all the time and he can't do a darn thing!


April 28, 2005

Dear Sel,

I trust you've experienced the sadness that is "Threads" from Season 8. I was just wondering if you would be coming back from the Tok'ra afterlife to continue the website.

Cass

Dear Cass,

Nothing can stop me! Not even being Ascended will stop me from reporting on Da Boys. Not even getting punished by the Glowy Powers that Be for De-Ascending to attend the Cleveland Con will stop me from informing my loyal readers (all two of you) of what's up with Da Boys (& me).

Sel

PS ~ When I find out who ratted me out, you're in big trouble! It better not have been Jake!

Sel & Her Ball & Chain


April 12, 2005

Love those Sel Pics!

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Geez. I wish the Ascendancy Program had vision coverage as I can't seem to read the name. D...o....n... Whoever it is must be a south paw... S... DOT.... D...a....

Uh oh... I think we had another visitation, and I didn't dust the website!

Swooning Sel

PS - Thanks for having a sense of humor and not sending Guido and Luigi over to break my little flippers so I can't type anymore.

PPS - Please get rid of the yellow hat.

PPPS - Please burn those suspenders.

<Wink!>


March 19, 2005

Dear Sel;

You **!! You killed him! Did Jake get whumped? No. Did he die gallantly in battle? No. He died of Old Age, cause you wouldn't let go of him, and you couldn't make him let do of you!

Yes, Threads screened here two night's ago, and I've now snivelled, sniffed and sobbed through the episode. Not a great way for a 40+ y.o. to act. But hey - I only watched Stargate for Carmen! At least now my Thursday night's are free!

Just had to vent at someone who'd understand! Rest of my family sure thinks I've finally lost it!

Annoyedly yours from the land of Oz

Dear Glinda;

I didn't want Jake to die. I told him to bring the Really Big Tok'Ra Tweezers to pull me out and he forgot them after I reminded him. I didn't want him to die!

WAIL! SNIFF! I LOVED MY LITTLE POOKIE! HE WAS THE BEST HOST EVER!

Sel - a not so happy, glowy Ascended Being.


March 19, 2005

dear sel...

love your website... epecially since I'm a great carmen fan. I've met him twice. What a neat guy. I also plan to sob all the way thru stargate tomorrow when he dies.... boo hoo. sniff. please tell us if hes coming back somewhere sometime someplace.. love ya sel..

me.

dear capital-less wonder # 2, not to be confused by capital-less wonder #1;

yet another poor soul who doesn't like caps. amazing. were you scared by a capital e when you were a child? thank you for your kind words. it's nice to know that some people are going to miss jake and me.

as for carmen? i know he's doing a bunch of cons in the near future and sel plans on de-ascending to go to the cleveland vulkon. people are still emailing sel that they're seeing him on the blind justice commercial. he speaks, he wears a suit and that's all they can tell me. unfortunately of all sel's boys, he's the one that sel finds the most difficult to find any info on.

all the best & thanks for not yelling at me.

sel

Dear Sel ~ The Archive,

May 2006 ~ Current

February 2006 ~ May 2006

October 2005 ~ February 2006

March 2005 ~ September 2005

August 2004 ~ March 2005

January 2004 ~ July 2004

November 2003 ~ December 2003

To email Sel and ask for her advice, please click here.

After receiving her answer, feel free to drop Jake a note and ask for a translation.