Jacob Carter ~ Reviews

This is such a great episode? Do you know why? Because it's a two parter episode, and George, Bra'tac and me are in it. What could be better?

Are we forgetting someone?

Are we? Ahh.

My Jake's in it, too! I had to pull Jake's leg, speaking of which I better pull on the right leg next time as the left leg is a little longer now. We get right into the action because Bra'tac and Teal'c are busy little beavers - when they meet up with this Strange Super Soldier-Dude. They kill it, and then they drag it back to the SGC-C.

Sam decides to call me and Jake in for help dissecting the bad guy. I'd like to comment on something right now.

Oh God.

Did everyone notice that I was exceptionally talkative this episode and that my voice was almost a basso profundo? It's because someone's getting a little concerned about the fact that people are joking about his little female friend. If he really liked me, he wouldn't mind that I'm female.

It's not that Selmak. It's just. they told me that the symbiotes are genderless.

Yeah, like Mr. By-the-Book General would have agreed to have a new best friend if they told him, oh by the way, she's female, Jacob, and not just any female, but a fun-loving one at that. I'm gonna sing now. Man! I feel like a woman!

I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout

No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady

Dear God, please send help immediately. Respectfully submitted, Jacob Carter.

Back to the episode, now that I reminded everyone that I'm really female.

Jacob, Sam and me play high school dissection and just to prove how cool Jake is, he decides to wear his Tok'Ra uniform instead of scrubs. Meanwhile I'm just muttering about how he better not get a darn thing on the uniform as I had to sell some Tok'Ra stuff on e-bay to supplement our uniform allowance.

A woman's... I mean a female symbiote's work is never done as I always have to keep my Pookie looking sharp.

We uncover a really icky looking dude, and then after much discussion, it's decided that we need to capture a live one.

Meanwhile, Danny is sent off to someplace in South America to locate some Goa'uld's temple because this creature sounds suspiciously familiar. If you're interested in hearing about that, you need to look elsewhere, as I have enough problems keeping tab on my boys to comment on Danny.

Thanks to the Super Cool Bra'tac. Go ahead, groan, Jacob, it'll make you feel better.

Sometimes silence is the best response.

They managed to capture one annoyed Super Soldier. Thanks to some good cop/bad cop action by Bra'tac and Teal'c plus Jacob's use of the memory recall device, we're able to locate Anubis' home world! Plus, Danny has been kidnapped. Oh, what to do! Hammond decides to send O'Neill down south, and that leaves Samantha and the boys to do what we do best. Create total chaos in the enemies' forces! Let's hear it for the Good Guys!!!

Oooo Raaaa!

Wrong branch of the service, Selmak.


There's a lot of discussion about how to get into the base to shut off the sensor array when I regretfully see the only option.

"Pook, we've got to volunteer for this one. They need a host-symbiote combo to pull this one off. Looks like we're the only ones in the immediate area."


SELMAK: (in her Basso Profundo voice) I will walk through the Stargate.

HAMMOND: Selmak?

No, George. It's Jake with a bad chest cold. Yes, it's me, SELMAK.


HAMMOND: Come again?

SELMAK: I will wear the armor of Anubis' assassin. According to your account on Ramius' planet, it passed through the force field trap.

Sammy gets upset, because well, she and her dad are particularly close. I'd like to think that's she's a little worried about me, but I know. everybody in the SGC worries about Jake. nobody cares about Selmak, super symbiote. Sniff. sniff.

Then Jake tells her, "I'm sorry kid; I'm with Selmak on this one. He'll keep me alive."


She'll also keep me awake, harping about that comment - Jake

Pfffft.. The mission is agreed upon, and then I pull Bra'tac and Teal'c aside while Samantha is getting prepared.

"Look boys, we're going to have a serious conversation. It's going to be Major Carter's command, which means that all four of us are going to have to behave and not pull rank on her."

Bra'tac looked innocent.

"Puh-lease, Bra'tac, I've read the reports with you and O'Neill. You usually hit him a few times and insult him. You even attempt to do that to Sam, Jake's gonna go for your throat."

Bra'tac gave a long look at Jake, and I believe he mumbled something about wanting to see Jake try.

"Bra'tac, you forget, I'm on board, which means, that I could easily kill all three of you. That means all of us need to be on our very best behavior. That means all of us can't try to run the team. It's really not fair to Sam," I reminded them. "You two were technically the Generals of Apophis' armies, Jake's a retired general, and well, I guess I qualify as a Tok'Ra general also. We can make suggestions and THAT'S it."

I'm a FIVE star Tok'Ra general, I reminded Pookie, plus I informed him that if he got too paternal and protective that I could muzzle him.

Then Jake put on the Super Soldier armor and like always, he told me to keep my eyes closed when he changes. Sometimes to irk him, I peek and he does a lot of screaming and jumping up and down but I figured we'd better behave.

We exchanged a few witty comments at the gate.

SILER: How's that, Sir?

SUPER POOKIE: Pretty good. Reminds me of my old football days.

SILER: They had helmets back in those days, Sir?


I then got all glowy eyed and gravely voiced, and I picked Siler up by the throat. One handed, and I told him to never make fun of Jacob again and that when I came back, I'd look him up for a little one on one remediation.

Jacob thanked me, but assured me it wasn't necessary.

It is! No one can make fun of my Pookie, except for ME!

Then George jumped in while Siler rubbed his throat a lot.

HAMMOND: Jacob, you okay in there?

SUPER POOKIE - ACTION HERO: It's surprisingly light.

No it's not! It's really HEAVY, Jacob! We need all of our Super Symbiote enhanced Pookie strength to walk in this.

Then we walk up the Gate, and I'm just hoping that Pookie doesn't trip and fall, because we'd look really stupid then. Plus I hope that the girls in the Tunnels don't get a gander at the size of the Cod Piece on this outfit because I'll never get any sleep then. As it is, I have to beat them off with a Large Stick as Jake's still considered fresh meat.

Next thing you know, we're there in the Secret Base of Anubis when Toth insists that we sit down in this weird little chair for a checkup.

He thought we looked damaged. Well, yeah, we lost about six inches and about forty kilos of sheer muscle.

I really liked the chair. It made me feel tingly all over. Jake got a little concerned with my euphoria but I ignored him, as I really liked feeling tingly. Fortunately, once we got off the throne, my sanity returned and Jake didn't rub it in too much.

Probably that ecstasy is a positive feedback loop so the Super Soldiers will go for their checkups.

Thanks, Pookie.

Meanwhile Sam is worrying about her stubborn Father. Bra'tac is just giving her a Bra'tac smile and pretty much telling her to calm down. Naturally, the minute Sam sees her father, she wants to know what happened. Jake's really nice and he doesn't tell her what really happened. Instead he just asks her if she was worried about him.

Naturally that flusters Sam, and Jake laughs inwardly.

We continue our travels and then we find a Goa'uld Queen who looks like she's about to spawn any moment.

Aren't you glad that I'm not a Queen, Pookie? Could you imagine all of that wrapped around your spinal cord?

Jake shudders while we discuss how Anubis got the really bright idea to do this. We figure that we'll blame Jonas Quinn as Anubis had sucked his brains out earlier this year and he probably got the information from Poor Jonas. After too much talking, we decide to blow the place up with C4. Sometimes, I just love how the Tau'ri's big solution to everything is to blow it up. Makes things simpler, except for the fact someone has to clean up.

Naturally things get worse. There are thousands of Super Soldiers and then Toth catches us. We have to pump him full of hot, steamy lead in order to make our escape while we're begging Bra'tac to please pick us up. We're running for our lives with a Super Soldier in hot pursuit!

Run faster, Jake. Faster! Get those little Pookie Legs outta First Gear!

We get into the ship and we're making our escape when one of those Nasty Super Soldiers opens the back door. Like magic, the five of us on the ship work on our unspoken plan to get rid of the Super Soldier. It works really well, Sam gets squashed flat, Teal'c ends up hurt, but Pookie, Super Pookie, my darling host who's just so cool and wonderful and fast and strong and brave and.

Who is really wondering what Selmak wants with all those adjectives?

He manages to slip past the Evil Foot Soldier of Anubis and when the bad guy chases after him, Bra'tac rings him out. Once again, the good guys win!

I'm sure a lot of you didn't notice this as you were all watching Sam and Jack at the bottom of the ramp, but when Teal'c, Bra'tac, Jake and I were walking off to the infirmary, Jake put his arm on Bra'tac shoulder, and invited him over to his house to have a few brews and watch a football game with George and him.

And Me.

See, I'm rubbing off on Jake. Even though he doesn't like to admit it.



Season 7 ~ Evolution

That's a Jake, Bra'tac, Selmak shippy moment in the background.

Father, Daughter, Symbiote Bonding Moment in the lab.

My professional opinon. Boy! That thing's ugly.

I nearly throttled Siler for making a joke about MY pookie.
Only I can make fun of him.

Jake wouldn't let me. He never lets me have any fun.

Super Pookie to the rescue.

My action hero!

Bra'tac taking out the trash.

Wake up Sam, it's time for School!