Selmak ~ Biography

Hi! My name is Selmak. I am the oldest and wisest (and by FAR the most modest) Tok’ra symbiote ever. I was born over two thousand years ago in the second batch of symbiotes spawned by my mother Egeria. Right away, Mom knew I was trouble as I was constantly causing a ruckus in the holding tank. As a result, she immediately stuck me in a Jaffa for detention….errr…incubation!

Right here is where I would have shown you the picture of me as a primta but someone, who will not be named, broke the data crystal with all my baby pictures!

If it was that important why didn’t you keep it in a safe place instead of the floor where I stepped on it!

Did you hear something? I didn’t hear anyone talking to me? Did you?

Sel, you’re such a brat!

Jake’s right. I am a brat…sometimes!

And she’s insensitive! I had to limp to the healing chambers because she wouldn’t heal the cuts on my foot!

I made it so you couldn’t feel anything.

But I was bleeding all over the place!

Excuse me for a second; I need to put my host to sleep so I can continue talking about me!

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ok, I’m back. If you hear any snoring just let me know and I’ll make him roll onto his side! Where was I…right! I was one of the lucky primtas being placed rather quickly in a Jaffa. I found out later that many of my brothers and sister were equally lucky that day. Mom saved us as her secret nursery was discovered. I still lost a couple hundred of my brothers and sisters.

Sniff. I need a hanky and Jake’s sleeping! SNIFF! Typical Male! I need help and he's sleeping. If George was my host, he'd be there with a hankerchief as he's a Texas Gentleman.

Mom was forced to leave many of us on our own, hoping the Jaffa harboring her young survived so her young would continue to live on.

She was successful as evident by the Tok’ra resistance that I am proudly a part of. During my time amongst the Tok’ra, I have passed my wisdom on to others while occupying many different hosts. ALL female of course as the female of the human species is by far the most beautiful and most intelligent!

The female of the species is also far more deadly than the male.

Then fate decided to throw a curve ball at me! I had no choice but take up residence in a MAN! Believe me when I tell you, men DO think differently from women! MUCH DIFFERENTLY! And with a different organ! But, if not for Jacob’s sense of duty and honor, we never would have blended successfully.

Looking back now, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Yeah, he’s a stubborn grouch set in his ways. I cut him off from his coffee supply so he’s a little extra grouchy in the morning. His views helped breathe new life into the Tok’ra resistance. Together we accomplished much with the Tok’ra during our time together with is why I cannot, for the life of me, understand why they came to distrust me! That Delek, I’m going to wring his neck!

Go to your happy place, Sel!

@!@@!!@@

Watch your language little lady! Lucky I can’t wash your mouth out with a bar of soap! Besides Sel, you said that wrong, it’s @!!!@!@@!

Thank you Jacob. I’ll never be able to swear as well as you in your language.

Quite alright, I can’t even swear in yours!

Yes, best if you don’t try that again. My ears are still ringing from the last time but we’ll work on that.

That’s what you said seven years ago when we first blended.

- - - - - - -- - - - -

Sorry. Had to put Pookie back to sleep.

But that’s another quality Jake has, he remembers EVEYTHING! I’m serious! I can’t get away with anything anymore! He remembers every rude comment I make when we argue! On the other hand, because of our bond, Jacob can also recall my memories with, sometimes annoying, accuracy. However, he was so sorry he got a glimpse of some things when he’d later wished he hadn’t, he asked if he could wash his brain with bleach to cleanse them from his mind!

BLEACH? Like what would have that done to me? Huh? Huh? I ask you.

Not that anything’s wrong with my memory! I just have selective memory that’s all! Well, at least I get Jake’s Birthday right. I have to. He remembers mine every year and gets me presents. Though, I still haven’t gotten that puppy yet! Hence the real reason I cut him off from the coffee!

All kidding aside.

I love the guy, which is why I’ve dedicated a generous portion of my website to him. See, Jake got his feelings hurt when he found out O’Neill, Daniel and Teal’c had thirty-something thousand websites. And Pookie kicked over a few garbage cans when he found out that the chevron guy had a few sites dedicated to him! (Yes, the Tok’Ra have garbage cans, but they’re in a nice neutral shade so you don’t notice them) Of course, I had to heal Jake’s broken toe as he missed the can one time and kicked the crystal wall! Believe me, it was one of many injuries I’ve had to heal during our seven years together. (See Jake’s Injuries page for details, including dates and description of his many, many, many injuries.)

I also had to pacify him by giving him his own Dear Dad section, in conjunction with Ask Sel, for people to write him and to which he could reply. It made him happy. Then he really showed his gratitude towards me when I got flipper tendonitis from posting hundred of pictures for my boys, Tony, Don, and Carmen. Jake helped post the pictures.

Though he kept his eyes closed for most of them!

Despite his constant whining each time that O’Neill gets a new website, and his constant nagging to focus more of my site on HIM rather than those other two hotties, I have to love my host. When I was dying, he refused to let me go.

Sniff.

He didn’t want me to die alone. You gotta love the guy for that! No matter how much of a stubborn pain in the butt he can be!

Sel, are you crying again?

No…sniff, sniff.

Oh Sel…I love you too! But you’re still a pain in my neck!

You’re a pain too…Pookie.

You couldn’t come up with a better nickname for me?

Jacob, be happy with your nickname else I could always make you wear a blue dress. I think blue would look good on you.

You wouldn’t dare!

I was a woman and still am, remember?

Pookie’s a nice name!

That’s what I thought. You women out there don’t need to worry about little old me. As you can see I can handle Jake and the website too. After all, I am two thousand years old and I have learned a trick or two during my lifetime!

Is that it? Are you done? Do you want me to hit the save button?

That’s a joke, right? I know we both have a twisted sense of humor but sometimes I can’t tell when you are joking. I do hope you’re joking Jake, as you are computer illiterate! I can’t believe a man as intelligent as you can’t even comprehend the ‘Computers for Dummies’ handbook! Jake…don’t touch that bu…

Thanks to Marya, Niko, Makui and Princess Buttercup for the Bio!